Home again

While I was away, I called home every night at Little Bit's bedtime. He would say, happily, "Mommy...Mommy...Mommy!" I'd ask him if he had played ball that day and he'd say, "I play ball" or "I slide". When I said, "I love you", he said back, "I love you, Mommy." {Here's where my heart melted into a puddle of goo.}

It was so amazingly awesome to be able to 'talk' to him on the phone and to know that he understood that his mommy was coming back. Eight months ago, when I turned down a business trip, he was just too young, I thought, for him to understand I'd be back and too young for me to be able to leave for a week. But he's a big boy now, and this business trip was just for three nights. We could do it.

During the first two nights I was away, Little Bit did ok. He would ask where I was, but accept when DH told him that I was away on an airplane and would be back in so-many nights. Little Bit began to expect my call each night. If the phone rang near his bedtime, he got a big smile and became very excited. On the third night, my last night away, Little Bit had had enough. He kept asking for me and had trouble being settled down to sleep.

I flew back home yesterday. I was very excited to see Little Bit, figuring he would be ecstatic to see me. I was looking forward to that moment when the huge smile of joy lit up his face, and he came running to hug me. I was at home when DH returned from picking Little Bit up at daycare. Little Bit came inside the house saying, "Ride bike outside!!" Basically, he seemed to notice me, like - oh, hai - and kept running to get his tricycle. DH said the look on my face was priceless, like, whut? I certainly didn't expect that reaction.

We all went outside. Little Bit rode his tricycle, walking his feet along as he sat on the seat (he's still working the the whole pedaling thing), while DH and I walked behind him.

On the walk back home, DH reminded Little Bit how they had talked before bed the last few nights about mommy being away on the airplane, but that mommy would be back, and here I was. Maybe Little Bit had been playing cool, because he was annoyed I had left. If so, I was forgiven now. The distraction of his tricycle could last only so long.

For the rest of the evening, Little Bit wanted Mommy. He wanted me to carry him when he was through riding his tricycle. He wanted to sit on my lap while we ate dinner. He was glued to my side or in my lap as we watched cartoons before bedtime. That was a balm to my slightly injured feelings. He did miss me. I soaked in the warmth of his small body next to mine.

Not too long ago, I was settling Little Bit into my lap for storytime before bed. I exclaimed as I hefted him, "You're getting so big!" He said, "No big boy," and snuggled in closer to me. {Here's where my heart melted into a puddle of goo.} Right then, he didn't want to be a big boy. He wanted to be my little boy. I reassured him, "You'll always be my baby." I hugged him even closer.