What's a Nice Date Without Barf on Your Clothes?

On Saturday night, DH and I were going out for a real, grown-up, dress-up, cocktail attire, date. We got to my friend's house to drop off Little Bit. He had fallen asleep in the car and was draped over my shoulder, as I rang the doorbell. My mommy senses were tingling though, when I heard his breathing sound a little funny. Just as my friend opened the door, Little Bit barfed. I was quick to turn him around, but he still nailed the shoulder of my velvet outfit...and my friend's patio.

*grin* Hi, here's a barfy toddler for you, bye! No, actually, Little Bit was fine after that; he had just gotten carsick. So, we changed his shirt, wiped my shirt off, and left for our date. And a fun time was had by all.

Last night, DH and I finally got the answer to the burning question that has been haunting us for months....how did Joe take over from Steve on Blue's Clues? Yes, sad isn't it? There is a whole Blue's Clues Debate about Steve vs. Joe, but Little Bit doesn't seem to have a preference. He just says, "I li'ke Blue's Clues!!" When the special hour and a half Blue's Clues started yesterday, I called DH to tell him it was the Steve to Joe transition episode, the one we'd been waiting for! Yeah, I told you it was sad.

Steve shaved his head and has a rock band and a myspace page. Who knew Steve was kinda cool? I always thought early Joe was cuter than Steve, but Steve is kinda cute with a shaved head.

With all the kid's tv that we watch, there are many burning questions that keep us up at night. Do you ever wonder where Max and Ruby's parents are? Where were Steve and Joe's parents? Why was Steve living alone? Why was Joe living somewhere else? Is Little Bear the same bear that is on Franklin? What is up with that wacky family on Miss Spider? DH keeps commenting on the fact that Miss Spider should be eating most of her adopted kids. And seriously, earwigs?!? *shudder*

Obviously I Need a Lexus

Apparently when I switched from driving my old SUV to my new Accord, all the local streets and parking lots moved higher in response.

Those rat bastards.

I could post a close-up of the gouged, scratched, and peeled-up metal of the lower side of my new car, but it's too depressing. Who decided to put large concrete curbs around those posts at daycare, anyway?!?

And seriously, why do you need curbs around a useless piece of dead grass in a parking lot?!? That one got the *other* side of my car today!

I won't even talk about all the concrete curbs in parking spaces that have defiled my front bumper. I need electronic sensors around my car.

So, either they're out to get me or...nah, as my DH knows, it's never my fault. I blame the Romans.

Updated - Or Would It Be My Mommy CV?

Her Bad Mother wrote this post regarding the Motrin ad campaign that insulted baby wearers specifically, and moms in general, as trying to be Stepford Mom conformists.

[I have such a bloggy crush on HBM. She writes so well and so honestly. I think if I met her, I might get all fangirl geeky. Read her stuff; it's awesome.]

Anyway, she coins the term "mommy bona fides" in the above post for those outward signs that say, yes, I am a mommy. Things like a Frankenvulva (if you haven't read this post, you must do it now! I'll wait....ok, are you back?), a stained wardrobe, a muffin top, a short temper, etc.

That got me thinking about a list of mommy bona fides for me. Of course these are just mine, I'm sure all 2 of my readers have some other good ones, too.

My Mommy Credentials...
I've caught throw-up in my hand and been peed on (not in any sort of kinky way, yuck).

I know all the words to the "Little Einsteins" theme song.

I actually find watching episodes of "Max and Ruby" relaxing.

I have sniffed near another person's butt. (What? I'm talking about the diaper sniff, people.)

I can play what amounts to Charades with a 2 year old, trying to translate what he said. One word, sounds like...pi'doh...could be pillow. Pillow? No. Playdough! Of course.

I talk about poo and potties and tantrums with strangers.

My abdomen looks like I tried to come up with the next big trend after piercing or tats or branding -- pale squiggly lines rising from my lady parts like flames to cover my stomach. Yeah, those would be stretch marks.

So, what are your mommy bona fides?

P.S. Is it just Little Bit or does your toddler insist on falling asleep holding random things. A tupperware lid and a squishy foam cylinder from a toy, really? Last night it was hand-me-down toddler reindeer slippers he found in his stuff right before bedtime. Don't suggest he give those up unless you want a tantrum of epic proportions.

Updated to add:

I may not wear the ubiquitous mommy ponytail, but I almost always have my hair up in a bun with a butterfly clip (is that worse than a scrunchy? I don't know).

I sometimes have the dreaded muffin top. *sigh* At least I hide it by wearing long shirts untucked.

While I didn't get near the scars that HBM got, I also got to experience the joy and physicality of vaginal delivery. Ice packs are your friend. So were pillows to sit on for weeks and weeks and weeks...

Most of my pants now have elastic in the waistband. This may just be a me thing and not a 'mom' thing, but I loved the stretchiness of maternity pants' waistbands.

I keep books or magazines in the car so I can read at stoplights (who remembers free time to read before becoming a mother?)

Too bad I can't blame my being late for things and being too rushed to put on makeup on being a harried mom. I'm just lazy. Heh.

So tired

i'm doing well -- hardly any pain recovering from the sinus surgery. I felt a little guilty about taking sick days (just a little - there's something to be said for freedom to watch whatever I want on tv and being fully excused from many things...no lifting toddlers, no bending over, etc), but then yesterday I actually got dressed. I needed a nap after I finished dressing. Yeah. Me tired.

What kind of service would *you* expect for that kind of money?

I had the pre-surgery appointment with my sinus doctor yesterday. In just 3 days I will be woozy from the lingering effects of anesthesia and will have various bloody fluids coming outta my nose. As I remember from my last sinus surgery, the sling that goes over your ears and around your nose to hold the gauze in place is pretty comical. Oh, yeah, and I'll have a partially numb face. Good times.

The doc used an endoscope to look into my infected sinus yesterday. He said it's looking better, but, well, I won't give you the details about the pus he mentioned. Because that's just gross. I am *so* not the type of person who runs into friends I haven't seen for awhile, then starts blathering on about her upcoming sinus surgery and making references to roto-rooters being applied (there's a lovely image!), when those friends have just been enjoying bagels and coffee. Ahem.

The nebulized antibiotics have been fighting back the infection somewhat, just not enough. I am so sick of that nebulizer machine. I've been using it for months now, or possibly since the Clinton presidential years. I'm not sure. Things get a little blurry in my continued exhaustion. During the day last Saturday, thanks to DH entertaining the little guy, I slept for about 6 hours. Then, I went to bed about 9pm that night. I still had to come home early from work one day this week to sleep because I was feeling vertiginous. (Like how I worked that $25 word in there?)

The doc showed me the CAT/CT scan of my sinuses. It's much cooler now that they have the images on computer in digital form. Way back in the dark ages, 6 years ago, my last pre-sinus surgery scan used actual huge X-ray films. I know, barbaric. You only got X-ray prints of a limited number of slices through imaging of the head. With digital images, the doc could scroll the mouse wheel and take us through my skull and sinuses and back out from any direction. Kinda cool. Yep, the images confirmed how very effed up my left sinuses are.

As I was leaving the doc's office, I noticed the billing charges on my checkout slip. Of course those are never what the insurance actually ends up paying the doctors, but I guess if we had no insurance, it's what we'd have to pay. There was a $120 office visit charge *plus* a $350 charge for the endoscopic procedure. $350?!@! He looked in my nose like 15-20 seconds! Seriously. For that kind of money, well, let's just say, I'd prefer the cuter doc in the practice, and it should involve other kinds of procedures.

Look at those munchable cheeks!

Halloween 2006 - 5 months old





Halloween 2008 - 29 months old

More quotes from our toddler

DH comes into the room after overhearing me on the phone with my mom.
DH: Who's whining and not listening?
Little Bit (putting his hand on his chest): Me!!
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Last night, after I put Little Bit into his chair at the dinner table, he made his seating preferences clear...
Little Bit: I sit by Mama....Daddy far away!
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During dinner, Little Bit will sometimes encourage us to share. If I put parmesan cheese on my spaghetti, Little Bit asks for some on his food, then says, "Daddy some." I have to put some cheese on DH's food, too.

DH and I had finished reading bedtime stories, and Little Bit was climbing into my lap for his 'nah-nah' (nursing). Little Bit settled into my lap, said "Daddy nah-nah," and then started nursing. I tried not to crack up too much. He was willing to share his nah-nah with Daddy!

Yay!

"Change has come to America." ~President-Elect Obama. Full text of his speech. Reaction from the world.

I'm feeling good this morning...and hopeful for the changes that my son will see in the next century.

Halloween: the laid-back version

I will upload the cute pics of Little Bit in his Halloween costume soon. He picked out his costume at Toys R Us weeks and weeks ago - a fuzzy Tigger costume, with a tail and ears. Oh, the cuteness. Makes me want to nom-nom-nom his rounded little cheeks. The costume was a 4T, which, we thought, oh that's too big, but let's try it on him in the store anyway. It fit our "little" guy perfectly. Lesson learned -- trying on the costumes in person is the way to go. If I had ordered him one on the internetz, I would've ordered a 3T.

Unlike last year's Halloween, which consisted of taking him to *one* house next door before he melted down, this year, we took Little Bit to *three* houses. Yeah, we're pacing ourselves. You can see last year's Halloween costume on the side of the blog. Of course he was an astronaut! The fun thing this year was that he knew what was going on. After dinner, when we wondered aloud if he would be up to putting on a costume, he lobbied for, "Twick'r Tweet! Twick'r Tweet!"

He loved looking at the decorations and the pumpkins in the yards (real and fake). One house had a motion-sensor activated tombstone that cackled. Little Bit was not sure about that at all. He clung to his dad's pants leg and let Dad take the lead. We got lots of great video and picures, then retired to our house. We got Little Bit into his pjs, gave him some small pieces of candy, and he watched "Max and Ruby". I'd say we timed it about right. We went out a bit early, before dark, because we knew a late night would be a recipe for meltdown central. He had a great time, got some candy, and did not meltdown.

Getting him to bed was a bit of an adventure. As it got dark, our doorbell rang numerous times. Little Bit gleefully got down from his bed where we were reading and ran to the door. He wanted to see the other kids in their costumes. He also asked repeatedly for candy from the big bowl on the bookshelf by the door. Finally, DH sat outside on our porch with the bowl of candy, so I could get Little Bit to sleep without any more doorbells.