Politically Incorrect

Little Bit learns so much at daycare - songs, counting, ABCs, sharing, etc. Unfortunately, that learning includes things that we don't want him to learn. I'm beginning to see why some parents choose to homeschool. There are lots of good things about his daycare. The problem is one or two of the children in his class who act up. Several of the "lovely" things he has learned include:

1. pointing a stick-like object at me (or his dad) and saying, "You're dead. Ha ha ha ha." The laugh is a fake laugh that particularly grates on my nerves.

2. doing something he's not supposed to do (like yesterday, throwing a pillow directly at my face), then saying, "I was jus' kidding."

and, 3. in general, he's started getting an attitude sometimes where I get flash forwards of him as a teenager.

When I was young, I tested as "gifted" at a fairly young age. From fourth grade on through high school, I was in the separate gifted program classes. We moved at a faster pace and had many more hands-on and field trip activities. Maybe it's snobbery, but I was glad to not have to deal with the lowest common denominator in the regular classes who only wanted to cause trouble in class. DH and I and our pediatrician suspect that Little Bit will test as "gifted"; he's already show some signs. Part of me looks forward to getting him into the gifted programs where he will be surrounded by other bright, inquisitive children who want to learn.

Fabulous Friday

In honor of the premiere of "Project Runway" last night...

Three things

Three things important to me in parenting

1.) This one you've probably hear before. Pick your battles. Or, as we say around the avonlea household, Is this the hill you want to die on, soldier? I ask myself if whatever I want Little Bit to do (or not) is really that important? Does it matter if he eats his food one way or another, as long as it ends up inside his tummy and not on the floor? Then, why try to force him to do it my way? Does it matter if that item he wants gets "toddlerized"? No, then let him carry that advertising booklet around and color on it, or drop it on the floor. Related to this is...

2.) Respect Little Bit as a person. Yes, he's still a child, but if I can give him choices, if I can give him some say in his life, then he gets a little autonomy. He has his own likes and dislikes, and they can change. At one point, he was fine with us cutting up his dinner roll into bite-sized pieces, but one day, there were going to be tears if he didn't get a whole roll, unblemished. So I gave it to him, and laughed when he smooshed the whole thing against his mouth trying to get a bite. Sure, that's a trivial example, but there are lots of little choices he can make.

3.) Let him play! I do not want to overschedule him with a bunch of activities and lessons. First, he's only three. However, when he gets older, we'll sign him up for one or two things at a time, eventually working our way through different sports, scouting, martial arts, music, etc. so he can find out what he enjoys. For now, just playing is pretty darn good. I will not be pushing tutoring on Little Bit, like the people mentioned in this article, in order to prepare him for kindergarten.

[Play is] also a critical way that children develop language, express their creativity, expand their social skills, solve problems and generally learn about their world — all important abilities that will help them in kindergarten and well beyond.

-- Joan Almon, Executive Director of Alliance for Childhood

Big Boy

Me, speaking to Little Bit: Let's take off your sandals; they make your feet stink.
Little Bit: No, they don't. My poo-poo makes me stink.
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We took Little Bit for his three-year old checkup. The pediatrician says that he is still in the 75th percentile for height and weight. His vocabulary is good. She had him try to draw a few shapes that she drew first. He got the circle (a three-year old skill, she said) and the plus sign (a three and a half year old skill). He's not quite up to drawing a square yet (a five-year old skill), but he did get one corner on the shape he drew. Just in the last few months his coloring skills have grown. He no longer just colors with big swipes of color across the outlines on the page. He tries to color inside the lines and does a pretty good job of it.

When we told the pediatrician that he likes to "read" back his bedtime story books to us, she was impressed. She said that telling stories was closer to a five-year old skill. We need to video Little Bit "reading" The Cat in the Hat. It's hilarious. "You go 'way now t'ing One and Two. No here while Mommy away! You go 'way!! Please!"

Last week, he was reading a bedtime story back to me. The story had asked questions like, "Do you see the present with the big red bow?" Little Bit asked me the questions and when I answered correctly, he said, "Good, Mommy!" My little teacher. Then, he surprised me by coming up with his own new questions. Though, of course, he is still only three. "Can you find the red... with ladybug spots?" I pointed to the picture of a ladybug.

A first visit to the boardwalk

We took Little Bit for his first trip to Kemah Boardwalk last week. He was so excited when he saw the huge carousel and the train. We rode the carousel first, then the train around the boardwalk. No kiddie rides for us. We even rode the full-sized ferris wheel. He wasn't scared at all to be up so high.

Like his cousin, he is in the full-on "why?" stage.

"Why the wheel stop up here?"
"Why dat boat out there?"

We saw the stingray exhibit at Kemah. Little Bit was so excited and fascinated to see the huge stingrays and the colorful fish in the tanks. The stingray tank was set up so people could feed them and pet them. I was too chicken to do either. Little Bit laughed in surprise when one stingray came splashing out of the water at the edge of the tank. It saw us standing there and came looking for food.

"Why dat fish do dat?"
"Why...?"

At the end of the evening, we carried a very tired little boy, clinging to his new stuffed turtle (from the visitor store), to the car. The first thing he talked about the next morning was that he had gotten to ride the carousel, the train, and the ferris wheel the day before.

Blah, blah, blah

I haven't felt like posting lately, mostly because it seems like it would all be about the same thing -- how tired I am of being tired. While at least the hormonal roller coaster has smoothed out (though with monthly grumpiness), I still keep getting sinus infections. Little Bit has brought home two run-of-the-mill colds over the last month or so. I catch them, and they immediately turn into infections for me.

My regular sinus doc, Sinus Doc 1, wanted to refer me to a "specialist" specialist -- a sinus doc who sees all the unusual cases. The original "specialist", Sinus Doc 2, was out of the country until August. OK, I went and saw Sinus Doc 3, the head of the department and the doc who taught Sinus Doc 2. What a big fat waste of time that was. I had to drive down to the medical center (about an hour drive in traffic), then first talk to his nurse in detail about my history, then in detail to two of his residents, then finally he came in. His residents, and then he, kept asking me, "what's the worst symptom?" How about getting sinus infections all the effing time?!?j

"No, that's a diagnosis. What's the worst symptom?"

OK. Fine. PTHththththt!!

He looked into my sinuses with the scope (not even using the numbing spray, which I should have spoken up about). Owwww. He said that since I didn't have an infection at that moment, he couldn't tell anything, what was causing the infections to keep coming back. So, I'm supposed to go back when I have a sinus infection. We scheduled me for ~5 weeks after that appointment. I had a sinus infection last week, but could I move my appointment up? No, of course not. The next opening was only one week sooner than my original appointment. So, rather than suffer from the symptoms and mind-numbing exhaustion for another 2.5 weeks, I self-treated (as my regular sinus doc said I could) with my nebulized antibiotics.

Now, I actually get to hope I somehow manage to get another sinus infection at just the right time, not too many days before my appointment. Oh, joy.

I just feel like it never ends. The infections keep popping up. I can't get my head above water.

Sleep, perchance to dream

We have had some success on the sleeping/bed front -- within the last week, Little Bit has slept a few times all by himself in his own bed in his own room. The rest of the time he still slept in his bed, but, he has toddled into our room about 3 am and said sleepily to me, "Will you come sleep in my bed?" I stumbled down the hallway with him, settled him down, and slept next to him the rest of the night. It's a step in the right direction.

Getting him to bed has been getting harder and harder. He keeps trying things to stall. He wants one more story (on tv or a book). He wants some juice. He's hungry. Sometimes we can get him into his bed without too many tears. But once he dissolved into hysterics. He was so tired, so upset and crying hoarsely. Finally, I just picked him up in my arms and held him in a cradle hold close to my chest. I rocked him and made soothing sounds. Soon, he calmed, and I was able to lie down next to him.

He's been stuttering off and on again. The daycare teacher said it's very common for his age and that their thoughts are going much faster than their words/vocabulary can go. We just let him take his time when he's telling us something and not draw attention to it. It's hard not to feel a little concerned, though, wondering if it's the start of a problem.

We went to a 4th of July celebration at the park and got to spend time with DH's family. Little Bit and his cousin Bethany had a most excellent time dancing to the music of his Uncle. While we were there, I got to hold the little 3-month old baby girl of a friend of our niece. Oh, dear...those sweet little chubby legs, those cute, tiny toes, that little ruffly outfit...She was just so small. It made me remember when Little Bit was just born and how wonderful it was to hold him over my heart, with his little legs folded under him like a frog, small and compact. I had a dream within a few days of that where DH and I were discussing Do we really want a second child? How are we going to afford two in daycare? Do we really want to do this? Gulp.

However, even with those baby-induced ovary twinges (hey, quiet down there! Haven't you already been giving me enough trouble?!), I know that we're "one and done". While it would be awesome for Little Bit to have a little sister or brother to play with, having a sibling doesn't always mean you'll be close. My brother and I are worlds apart and have never been close. We're just too different in personality and have different interests.

There are also practical reasons to be "one and done" -- since DH is 15 years older than I am, he'll be nearing retirement when Little Bit is in high school. We'd like to be able to retire sometime, you know, before we die, and enjoy time together, and also still provide some college money for Little Bit.

I also selfishly enjoy being able to hand-off between me and DH, knowing DH is not outnumbered, so I can go for some 'retail therapy' or take a nap or read a book.