Memories of Hawaii

So, what has your vagina done for *you* lately?

Little Bit's second birthday is fast approaching. On May 26, it will have been two years since I pushed a human out. Well, that is, since a human, with a 14 cm head no less, was yanked out of a 10 cm dilated cervix with the help of two huge-mongous metal salad tongs. Is it any wonder that I actually remember the following weeks of painful sitting on pillows even more than I remember the almost 24 hours of active no-drugs labor? I'm thinking that having one human come out of my vagina is enough.

I was one of those women who wanted a "natural childbirth" and no unnecessary medical interventions. You know that those nurses were laughing their asses off when they looked at the birth plan attached to my chart. After active labor for 14+ hours with no relief, I asked for the epidural. I wanted to kiss the anaesthesiologist, but, dude, we'd just met, and I was having another man's baby. It would have been awkward.

Having to be told when a contraction was happening, because you couldn't feel the pain? Priceless. Having your doctor, plus another doctor, several nurses, and five or so doctors-in-training, plus possibly a janitor, staring at your business, while your legs are in the air? No problem! Nope, it doesn't matter what I had on the birth plan (no doctors-in-training). Just. Get. This. Baby. Out!

Yes, looking into those beautiful blue eyes for the first time was amazing and miraculous. He stopped crying and just looked at me when I spoke to him; a new soul had entered into the world. He knew my voice! Wow.

So, two years of being a mom...am I the only one who still feels so inept sometimes? While we waited at the airport for our plane to Honolulu, I went with Little Bit to buy something to drink. DH waited with the luggage. As I checked out at the cashier, Little Bit decided to grab the candy that was so conveniently within his reach.

He grabs one piece. I wrestle it away, while also trying to find change to pay for my drink. He immediately grabs another candy bar, while I juggle my open wallet, purse, and try to move him out of range of the candy. He throws the candy on the floor. Awesome. I feel flustered and embarrassed.

A few days later I have to say that I was amused to watch another mom ineffectively try to manage her two toddlers while we waited in a checkout line. Her little boy stayed close by, pulling advertising handouts off the counter, but the little girl wandered off to the refrigerated drinks, all the while crying. When the mom asked the little girl to "come here", the girl sat down on her bottom and wailed even louder.

Hah! I'm not the only one with a child (or children) running amok in checkout lines. Does it make me a bad person that I was inwardly snickering? The thought of trying to manage two little ones makes me hyperventilate, though.

BTW, taking an almost two year old to see the monument at Pearl Harbor where people tend to be reverent and somber, the day after that almost two year old was forced to sit on an airplane for 8+ hours? Worst. Idea. Ev-er.

It's just past 7 am in Hawaii

We returned yesterday from Hawaii. That time shift back to CST is hard. Vacation was great. Little Bit got to spend lots of time with his grandparents. He played on the beach, filling his bucket with sand, and making piles of the seed pods that had fallen from the trees. He wasn't too sure about all that "wa-der" in the ocean, though. He did his clinging baby monkey impression when DH or I took him into the surf. We showed him that he could splash the water, and he thought that was fun.

DH and I got to snorkel while Little Bit's "Pop-pop" and "Ma-maw" watched him. We saw lots of different fish. On the last day of snorkeling, we finally saw a green sea turtle swimming underwater. I was hoping we'd see one. We swam along behind him for awhile, and he led us to where four (!) more turtles were hanging out on the bottom of the ocean. We also swam out past one of the coral outcroppings to find a huge drop-off. DH later told me that he had spotted a small shark swimming at the bottom, which he tried to point out to me, but I didn't see it. At least this time in Hawaii I wasn't reading a "summer beach read" about a huge prehistoric shark (a Megaladon) eating people, a la Jaws, the way I was last time. I told DH last time that maybe I was trying to face my fear of sharks by reading that book, then going out snorkeling in the ocean.

Travelling with an almost two year old means lots of laundry. The 8 hour flight out wasn't too bad. I had lots of new toys for Little Bit -- including a pack of post-it tabs, which is the best toy ever. On the short-hop flight between islands, poor Little Bit got airsick. DH was sitting next to him when he let loose, so he got to clean up much of the mess. I had wisely packed a change of clothes for LB in the carry-on, so I could put him in clean clothes.

While waiting at the car rental place after landing, LB's tummy decided it was time to finish emptying...on me. I was holding him, looking around, when my mom said, "He's throwing up!" Like a good mom, I put out my hand and caught the barf in my hand. Well, we didn't want to inconvenience the janitors, right? Yech. I can't believe I did that. After cleaning us up in the bathroom, I changed LB into his pjs (they were the most accessible clothes). I put on a fresh shirt from the carry-on, but had neglected a fresh bra. Since I was too tired to search all our bags, I just did without.

Lesson learned, I packed a full change of clothes for LB, and a clean shirt and bra for me several days later during an all day outing to the south side of the island. The curvy mountain roads did in poor LB's tummy again. At least I didn't get barfed on that time. The carseat needed another scrubbing when we returned to our rental house. The Hawaiian sunshine took care of the rest of the smell. I think we must have done about 4 loads of laundry during our vacation.

After we said our goodbyes at the airport and my parents were on their flights back home, Little Bit kept asking, "Where Pop-pop?" and "Where Ma-maw?" It was very sweet. We told him that they had to go bye-bye, back to their house. He answered back, "My Pop-pop," just so we were clear.

Two more weeks

Exhaustion R Us. Neither DH nor I go to bed as early as we should. It's nice to have "us" time and also "me" time to surf the web or watch tv after Little Bit goes to sleep. I let DH sleep in last Saturday. When he got up, I lay down for a nap about 10am. I vaguely recall waking when he brought LB in to nap next to me. Then, the next thing I knew, it was 3pm!! I had to check several clocks before I believed the time. I actually woke up without still feeling tired. It was heaven.

Counting down until I'm squishing warm sand under my feet in Hawaii...(and letting Grandma and Grandpa play with LB while DH and I sleep in). Heh heh heh.

Next stop, Hawaii

Happy news, happy news!! We are going to Hawaii for a vacation next month. I happened to be surfing the interweb and found out about some awesome airfare deals (basically half price!). We were planning to go this fall anyway, but we just moved the plans up. I'm a little afraid of the 8 hr plane ride with a toddler, but we will just have to take turns amusing him, walking him up and down the aisle, etc. It's going to be so fun to introduce him to the ocean.

On other news, something I meant to write about and hadn't yet - my doctor had put me on prescription Vitamin D because of the "critically low" levels of Vitamin D in my blood. So far, I have brought my levels up to half (!) what they should be.
My doctor mentioned several other vitamins I'm low on, then (here's the kicker), she said, in passing as we were talking, that I am malnourished. Wow. Nothing like having your doctor call you malnourished to stop you in your tracks. I know I need to eat more healthy food. My body's nutrition has just taken a beating since I've not been eating healthy food much, not taking a multi-vitamin, and still nursing. Now, how stupid do I feel? Little Bit gets all the vitamins first from me; my body keeps the rest (which isn't much right now). How sad is it that I live in America, but I've allowed myself to become malnourished?

Note to Self and Thoughts on Paradise

Do not eat after the baby anymore so at least there will be a chance, however small, of me not getting sick at the exact time he does. If I have to get sick every time he does, the next 16+ years before he heads off to college are going to be full of sick days.

It so sucks trying to take care of a sick child while feeling like death warmed over. Little Bit was attached to my hip or boob most of last week and over the weekend. The daycare ladies are going to have a time with him today.
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On other notes...
I caught "The Blue Lagoon" on cable last week while I was sick. I was too young when it first came out to see it and hadn't seen it yet. I thought it was actually kind of a sweet movie (leaving aside the ending which totally didn't make sense). There is something appealing about the romantic idea of casting off society and living in paradise with just your mate and your child. Though the scary part is that if someone gets hurt, you're going to be in serious trouble. And I know that I like my luxuries too much -- no cable? no internet? no chocolate?!? Well, that, plus Little Bit and I would be fried to a crisp without vast quantities of sunscreen.

Oh, man, the tropical scenery of the movie makes me want to go back to Hawaii. It's been a few years since we were there on our honeymoon. *le sigh* The blues of the water, the warm sand, the colorful fish, the rich greens of the foliage, and the sound of the gentle rains before dawn are all still vivid to me. DH took a picture of me relaxing after our morning snorkel one day, and I have such a contented look on my face. Living on "island time", you have to slow down.

We want to go back to Hawaii soon. Taking Little Bit along will definitely change the experience. I think we'd see about getting a local babysitter sometimes, but mostly it would be fun to swim with him in the ocean and show him the sights. Is it crazy to consider flying 9+ hours with a toddler?

While surfing the net, I found out about a guy named Tom Neale who lived by himself on a deserted South Pacific island for 16 years (over three different trips). He wrote a book about it. Interesting. However, if you look at the dates on Wikipedia, he left his wife, his four-year-old and his three-year-old for three and a half years on the island, then came back to civilization for awhile, then left for the island again when his oldest child was ten. That time he stayed for ten years. Great father, huh?